Just the day before I finished reading  chapter 1 of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity”

Friend – I have to talk to you about something serious

Me – If this is about being your best man then yes I will.

F – No… this is something different. I don’t know how to bring this up but maybe you’re losing out on some girls is because your breath smells bad.

This hits me like some girl just told me I have a small dick. I’m angry and self conscious that he told me this. Who the fuck is he to say this?!?! Then I remember the passage from the book above. People don’t take criticism well and they will usually get defensive about this. I didn’t really have anything to say to retaliate this… I just let it sink in. Those three girls I opened earlier come flooding back into my mind. They hardly spoke to me. Did my dragon breath make them want to run away?

My best friend is being completely and utterly honest with me. He’s not doing it to be spiteful but from a place where he wants me to succeed. It’s just hard to take criticism like this. At least I can do something about it though. I begin to scour the internet for halitosis fixes and causes. After poring through pages and pictures I realize that my poor hygiene  is the culprit. On the back of my mouth I can see where it’s nice and white. This is where bad breath likes to originate. Also lack of flossing and eating tons of meat is a culprit. Both of which I am whole heatedly guilty.

I’m now flossing diligently, brushing my tongue, and rinsing with a hydrogen peroxide solution. Just doing this last night I felt an incredible difference in how my mouth felt. When I woke up in the morning I didn’t have that nasty morning mouth. It was surprisingly fresh compared to normal. An examination of my tongue showed that the cleaning has indeed removed a lot of the white film sitting in the back of my tongue.

I’m glad he told me. Now I wonder how many girls I’ve lost simply because my bad breath was there?!?!?!

On my to my approaches. I did three this day in the mall. None of them really went anywhere. I didn’t get a hook point and felt like I was just shooting questions at them. I think my assumptions were on point. I’ll blame my dragon breath and say the girls were turned off. Let’s call it a wash.

1. Married women

2. Bleached Blonde

3. Older Country club girl.


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